Tuesday, November 26, 2013

"Adults! Put your EGO aside!"

 
 
Train up a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not depart from it.
                                     - Proverbs 22: 6 NASB
 
 
We are well acquainted with the Steubenville, Ohio rape case because of Social Media. Social media can also be said had a role in the conviction of two teenagers for the rape of a young girl. What I want to talk to you today about is the what I heard on the news last night. A grand jury has indicted 4 adults in relation to the investigation of the rape in 2013 as well as another one.
 
 
Where are the adults, responsible adults whoa re entrusted with the care of our children when they are in school? When teenage boys, young men and older men alike think they can use any girls or woman for their own sexual gratification in our culture today we need adults to stand up, speak out and advocate for children and women around the world. When coaches and principles place sports above a person's humanity these crimes will continue to happen.
 
God has entrusted us to care for the children of this world and these 4 adults have failed. Many more adults around the world have failed the children in our community. I believe it all comes down to ego. They value themselves higher than anyone else's. They will do what ever it takes to save face, protect that which is most valuable to them even if it is at the expense of another person. We cannot expect anything to change, or our children and teens to learn how to respect one another if we the adults do not demonstrate and live out love and respect for ALL people, our neighbors. Minors were charged in this case and convicted and now 4 adults have been charged.
 
As a person who works with teenagers I tend to have more patience and tolerance for their behaviors than I do adults. Now understand that if a crime occurs or I suspect one I will report it. But the reason I show children and teenagers more grace and patience is because they are still learning and growing. Their brains are still developing and cannot be fully conscience of the decisions they make. We as adults know better, or should. We cannot as easily make an excuse for our behavior when our brain is fully developed. Whether you have children or not all children are looking to us as their example and with the behavior of the four adults I now am understanding the actions (though not condoning) of those teenagers that were involved in the rape.
 
If we want children to learn to respect and value others then we have to do the same. It is not enough to teach it we must live it. To train up a child in the way of respect we must respect each other.
 
As a Christian I want to speak to my Christian readers and point out one more area where our ego's can get in the way. The most important thing we can do when raising children is to let them come to Jesus, allow them to encounter God and be moved by the Holy Spirit. At times we ourselves can be a hindrance and stand in the way of the children coming to Christ. We think we know better, we think we should shelter them. But we don't know better, we need to admit them and allow our belief in God and the son Jesus Christ to guide our behavior. When we do we will step aside and allow Jesus to lead the children and us. I don't know a better example for what I mean than a post a friend made on Facebook last night. Take time to read it below:
 
 
Travel changes who we are - if we allow it to do so. Timothy travels with us everywhere, and I have been privileged to watch how formative travel has been in his life. Last week he stood by the graveside of JFK. He also heard a gun salute to another fallen soldier, whose graveside service was occurring simultaneously. Last week Timothy stood between an adult Asian immigrant and me, and together the three of us peered intently at the original document of the US Constitution. The adult Asian immigrant looked at my son with tear-filled eyes and whispered, "Look! Look! Isn't it incredible?!" Last week homelessness had a face to it. Timothy saw homeless children of God sleeping in boxes on street corners. He saw their dirty clothes and blankets. He saw them search through trashcans for discarded food. He smelled their humanity. He was spoken to by them. He assembled a bag of snacks (granola bar, banana, raisins, applesauce, Doritos, Welch's fruit snacks, and bottled water) for the homeless man who slept across the street from out hotel. He watched me give the food to the man. He saw the man every night. Timothy was changed, and so was I.
 
 

 
 
This was written by my friend Kheresa Harmon.
 
This is how we train up our children. This is how we let our children come to Jesus. Nothing is more important than this. For Jesus told us this.
 
 
 
But Jesus said, "Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me;
for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

 
-Matthew 19:14
 



Tuesday, November 19, 2013

The Solution

Last week I wrote a post on a problem I believe effects all of us and that is perfection. I want to answer that post with a solution, have you.

I have been hearing a new song on the radio. I really love the rhythm and the message and finally yesterday I said, I need to know who sings this song. So is my custom I pick a line from the song, plug it into youtube and up pops the song and artist and the video that goes along with it. Take time now to watch the video. The lyrics are below the video.








You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
And they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

Everybody’s been there, everybody’s been stared down
By the enemy
Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

Innocence, your history of silence
Won’t do you any good
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you.
 
 
 
The question: How do we let go of our need to be perfect?
 
 
Answer: Be brave enough to tell our story.
 
 
If you are anything like me you think about a lot more things than you actually say and you would never dare tell your story, thoughts or opinions, or if you do it is only in select circles, safe circles.
 
 
I read a blog post today by a friend and it is a part of a month long series titled, "What you meant for evil God meant for good", based upon Genesis 50:20.
 
 
Do we have the courage to share our story or will we hide it away? I have learned that there is freedom in telling my story and invite you to do the same.
 
 
Let's be brave and speak out.
 
 
 


Thursday, November 14, 2013

The Problem




So much has been going on in our world and in my own life that I have really be pondering the following question:


What is wrong with humanity?


I have come up with a preliminary answer. Please know by no means is this the final answer or event he only answer but I thought I would answer my own question and invite others to share their thoughts and other possible answers to the above question.


Answer: We think we can and/or should be perfect.


If we think that we can and/or should be perfect then we assume that of others and inevitably place to high of expectations on others.


Ever been disappointed by a family member or friend? You know that feeling. You getting angry first, then self-righteous and depending on how you handle difficulty you either write that person out of your life or you realize you place that person on a pedestal of perfection that they could never meet. You acknowledge your expectations were wrong and you readjust your view of the person and the relationship continues to grow.


I am only 41, old enough to know some things (No longer green) but not old enough to claim all wisdom in matters of life. But I think my answer to my own question may have some validity.


When I look back at my life (Choices, behaviors and relationships) and reflect on the stories friends, family and co-workers have shared with me I have to believe that we are to hard on ourselves, we expect to much of ourselves and in turn expect to much of others.


When I think of perfect I think of God and yet scripture says Jesus did not view equality with God to be something to grasp for. What? Wait! Jesus is God in Flesh and he didn't think equality with God was something to be grasp? Maybe he was on to something. Why do we even think we can be perfect? Why do we expect everyone else to be perfect, to make no mistakes?


When I write this you must know that I myself struggle with this very thing. As I meet more people and listen to their stories I find that my need for all things perfect and orderly is not just exclusive to myself. If God, who created us sees us as good why is that not enough for us? Can we learn to see ourselves as good people? Can we learn to see others as good people?


1 Timothy 4: 4 -5 says:

For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer. (Word is synonymous with Jesus here)


I hear a lot of talk about how God will destroy creation if we do not return to biblical teachings and principles. What I am fairly certain of is if we continue to relentlessly place expectations upon ourselves and others then we will destroy ourselves. God want need to do a thing.


Maybe that is why God came not as a wrath filled, vengeful god but as a child born to poverty and with a message of unconditional love. Maybe?


If the problem is that we are trying to be perfect when it is impossible then I think we need to look at ourselves through the eyes of our Savior and those around us through his eyes as well.